Did you know that the 4th of March is the National Grammar Day? Bet you didn't! The part of the world that I live in has little concern over National Grammar Day. Having said that, the schools I've attended when I was younger; as in about a decade ago (OMG! that's young?!!) still has English Observation Day for one whole day every week. I never had too much problems with it, but I do remember my classmates and friends struggling a little - having fined 10 cents per non-English word spoken. I digress. >.<

Sometime not so long ago, I remember posting a blog entry of The Chaos, a poem by Gerard Nolst Trenite. The poem itself highlights about 800 irregularities in the English language. You can have a go at it here.

This time round, I'm going to be talking about grammar and how some sentences can sound crazy, but are grammatically and sensibly correct.

Let's start off with a line from Grucho Marx :

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas. How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. 

Those with a perverted mind (like me) gets it the first time. For those of you who are innocent, let's corrupt you! Muahahaa!!!

Take advantage of the fact that the same sentence can have more than one structure. Consider the first sentence :

[One morning] [I shot an elephant] [in my pyjamas].

[One morning] [I shot] [an elephant in my pyjamas].

Got you thinking yet?

Let's move on, shall we?

The horse raced past the barn fell. 

hamaigaad.. what the fish?! (as my good friend would put it). Hold on to your horses, readers - I promise you will be amazed! If you do study grammar to the letter, then you would know all about reduced relative clause. In a nutshell, this particular clause allows us to restructure our sentence from, for example, "The mobile phone that his uncle gave got broken" to "The mobile phone given by his uncle got broken".

Has the realization setlled in yet? No? Well, consider the following :

The horse [that was] raced past the barn, fell.

I added the comma before fell to help you out. Get it now?


Let's move on. I promise I have a lot more baffling sentences that are still grammatically and sensibly correct!

Let's try this one out.

The complex houses married and single soldiers and their families. 

This one is simple. >.< . I'll give you a hint : Try to identify the nouns, verbs and adjectives.

---------Hey, no peeking! Give it a go first!----------

---------Can you make sense of the sentence on your own?----------

"Complex" is so commonly used as an adjective - a complex problem, a complex arrangement etc. However, consider it as a noun - a housing complex, an apartment complex etc.

"Houses" is also commonly used as a noun, but in this sentence, it played the role of a verb.

As for "married', it usually is a past tense of the verb "marry", but let's change it's role here to an adjective and voila!

[The complex] [houses] [married and single soldiers and their families].

Feel free for laughing your butt off for reading that as

[The complex houses] [married] [and .... well you didn't even finish the whole sentence, did you?


March 4th!!

The rat the cat the dog chased ate the malt. 

Hehe! Let it be known that by now, I am smirking at your misery and pain! (yeah I'm sadist that way).

This is a good example of multiple center embedding in English language - meaning putting a clause in another clause. In this case, look at the 'malt'. What happened to it? The 'malt' was 'eaten'. By what? Can you continue from there?

If you can figure out the sentence above, take a piece of paper (or copy and paste this next sentence into a word processor and try to make a sense out of it.

Anyone who feels that if so many more students whom we haven’t actually admitted are sitting in on the course than ones we have that the room had to be changed, then probably auditors will have to be excluded, is likely to agree that the curriculum needs revision.

If you've made it this far (with maybe one or two extra wrinkles), CONGRATULATIONS!!! Here's a riddle to just relax yourself. Just remember, sometimes, it's ok to take things literally.

What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also one made out of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never written with 5. 

<<< Good luck! >>>

It had been a rough ride especially towards the end of 2013, but after all has been done, after all cards were dealt, after all those tears and sweat and smiles and laughter, frown and joy, sorrow and sickness, mine, wounded and healed, is still a blessed soul. 

Looking back, counting the seconds and minutes and hours and days and weeks and months, after 3 failed relationships, a couple of broken friendship, a revelation, a resignation, a pursuit in education, a new job and a new relationship later, I am only beginning to live my life. 

I cannot be certain of what exactly it is. I just truly felt that I have ended 2013 with a sense of accomplishment. That alone, says a lot because thus far I haven't ended a year with anything more than dinner with friends and family. I did that too, by the way - it's almost customary. Only this time, it is accompanied with a sense of accomplishment. 

That's it! I always asked myself at the end of the year - what have I accomplished this year? Well, my friends, I have, this year, embarked on an educational journey to obtain may Masters degree (dramatic much!). I have a new job - an international company - my office on the 8th floor (that's the top floor of the building) with an almost 360* view of the surrounding area! What's more, my significant other, the love of my life, the one I'm going to grow old with, is going to start work too AND pursuing her dream of managing her own business AND continuing her studies as well! Best part of that - her office is just a stone throw away from mine! Give me any reason to NOT be excited about that and I'll only have but one answer - she is my inspiration!

I have accomplished so much this year - even in those failure I learned and that, in it's own right, is an accomplishment greater than many. For once, I know who my friends are and I know who my friends were. I shall miss those whom were my friends, but for those who still are, I shall cherish and love them more! And for those whom will become my friends, I look forward to our experience together - both good and bad. 

And so to bid farewell to another year of blessed experience, 2013, I sing to thee, for auld lang syne. 

January was when my 2013 began
          yet another year of resolution!
February was when I splurged
          not knowing of a new beginning
March was when I learned
          and unlearned and became wiser
April was when we first met
          and it was thanks to February
May witnessed a revelation
          fostered a new friendship, sank some too
June was a summer of new experiences
          a picnic, an adventure, a playful banter
July gave breath to a new fire
          shed light to a forgotten memory
August a joyous celebration
          a welcoming of a new resident into my shell
September a drama, a conflict, a theater
          on stage and in life
October was chilly and cold
          said goodbye to a memory of old
November was quiet
          a turmoil brewing
December was a blessing
          the calm after the storm

Every now and then my English takes a turn from being good to garbled.. Mispronunciation here and there, stuttering, slurring my words.. Yeah we all have had that. I stumbled upon something that made me tell myself - Hey it's ok if I don't speak good English. It's a difficult language afterall! Don't believe me? Survive this poem by Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922).

Dearest creature in creation

Studying English pronunciation,

   I will teach you in my verse

   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy;

   Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;

   Queer, fair, seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet,

Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

   Just compare heart, hear and heard,

   Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain

(Mind the latter how it's written).

   Made has not the sound of bade,

   Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as vague and ague,

   But be careful how you speak,

   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via

Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;

   Woven, oven, how and low,

   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery:

Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,

   Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing,

Same, examining, but mining,

   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

   Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire",

Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,

   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,

   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.

   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,

   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,

Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.

   This phonetic labyrinth

   Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured

To pronounce revered and severed,

   Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,

   Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet;

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

   Blood and flood are not like food,

   Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,

Which exactly rhymes with khaki.

   Discount, viscount, load and broad,

   Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?

Right! Your pronunciation's OK.

   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,

   Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your r correct in higher?

Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.

   Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,

   Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision,

Now: position and transition;

   Would it tally with my rhyme

   If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,

But cease, crease, grease and greasy?

   Cornice, nice, valise, revise,

   Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous,

Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,

   You'll envelop lists, I hope,

   In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it!

Affidavit, David, davit.

   To abjure, to perjure. Sheik

   Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,

Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.

   We say hallowed, but allowed,

   People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,

Between mover, plover, Dover.

   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,

   Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label.

   Petal, penal, and canal,

   Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit

Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",

   But it is not hard to tell

   Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,

Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,

   Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour

Has the a of drachm and hammer.

   Pussy, hussy and possess,

   Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants

Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.

   Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,

   Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker",

Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",

   Making, it is sad but true,

   In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,

Neither does devour with clangour.

   Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,

   Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic,

Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.

   Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,

   Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,

Make the latter rhyme with eagle.

   Mind! Meandering but mean,

   Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny,

You say mani-(fold) like many,

   Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,

   Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring

Rhyme with herring or with stirring?

   Prison, bison, treasure trove,

   Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald

Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.

   Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,

   Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it,

And distinguish buffet, buffet;

   Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,

   Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling

Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.

   Evil, devil, mezzotint,

   Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention

To such sounds as I don't mention,

   Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,

   Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included,

Though I often heard, as you did,

   Funny rhymes to unicorn,

   Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely,

I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.

   No. Yet Froude compared with proud

   Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial,

Tripod, menial, denial,

   Troll and trolley, realm and ream,

   Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely

May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,

   But you're not supposed to say

   Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid

Worthless documents? How pallid,

   How uncouth he, couchant, looked,

   When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,

Paramour, enamoured, flighty,

   Episodes, antipodes,

   Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser,

Don't peel 'taters with my razor,

   Rather say in accents pure:

   Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,

Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,

   Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,

   Wan, sedan and artisan.

The th will surely trouble you

More than r, ch or w.

   Say then these phonetic gems:

   Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,

There are more but I forget 'em-

   Wait! I've got it: Anthony,

   Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit

Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;

   With and forthwith, one has voice,

   One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger;

Then say: singer, ginger, linger.

   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,

   Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very,

Parry, tarry fury, bury,

   Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,

   Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,

Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners

   Holm you know, but noes, canoes,

   Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little,

We say actual, but victual,

   Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,

   Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,

Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

   Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,

   Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific;

   Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,

   Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,

Next omit, which differs from it

   Bona fide, alibi

   Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,

   Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion with battalion,

   Rally with ally; yea, ye,

   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever,

Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.

   Never guess-it is not safe,

   We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary,

Crevice, but device, and eyrie,

   Face, but preface, then grimace,

   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;

   Ear, but earn; and ere and tear

   Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the o of off and often

Which may be pronounced as orphan,

   With the sound of saw and sauce;

   Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?

Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.

   Respite, spite, consent, resent.

   Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,

   Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,

   Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour,

S of news (compare newspaper),

   G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,

   I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers,

Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.

   Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,

   Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation-think of Psyche!-

Is a paling, stout and spiky.

   Won't it make you lose your wits

   Writing groats and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel

Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,

   Islington, and Isle of Wight,

   Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather,

Saying lather, bather, father?

   Finally, which rhymes with enough,

   Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup...

My advice is: GIVE IT UP!


So, how far along the poem til you gave up? Me? Up until where there's no more bold or italic or both. And apparently I've been pronouncing "bade" and "chamois" wrong for my entire life so far. >.<

And if you've managed to go through each and every verse, in your head or aloud, have a listen to this video and see if you got it all right? There are differences here and there as the video is an adaptation of the poem.

if I could teach you how to fly

or bake an elderly pie

if I could turn sidewalks into stars

or play new song on an old guitar

or if I knew the way to heaven

the names of night, the taste of seven

and owned them all to keep or lend - 

would you come and be my friend?

You cannot teach me how to fly

I love the berries, not the pie

the sidewalks are for walking on

and an old guitar has just one song

the names of night cannot be known

the way to heaven cannot be shown

you cannot keep, you cannot lend

but I still want you for a friend

~ Dennis Lee ~

Around the corner I have a friend

in this great city that has no end

yet days go by and weeks rush on

before I know it a year is gone

And I never saw my old friend's face

for life is a swift and terrible race

He knows I like him just as well

as in the days I rang his bell

And he rang mine, but we were younger then

now we're busy, tired men

Tired of playing foolish games

Tired of trying to make a name

"Tomorrow," I said, "I'll call on Jim!"

"Just to let him know I was thinking of him,"

yet tomorrow came and tomorrow goes

the distance between us grows and grows

Around the corner, yet miles away

"Here's a telegram, sir. Jim died today."

And that's what we get and deserve in the end

Around the corner, a vanished friend

~ Charles Hanson Towne ~

Have a read of a poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox below. I would like to dissect it line by line, find the figurative meaning of each stanza, but I do not want to imply my interpretation of the poem to yours should you try to interpret it too.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you;

Weep, and you weep alone;

For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,

But has trouble enough of its own.

Sing, and the hills will answer;

Sigh, it is lost on the air;

The echoes bound to a joyful sound,

But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;

Grieve, and they turn and go;

They want full measure of all your pleasure,

But they do not need your woe.

Be glad, and your friends are many;

Be sad, and you lose them all,—

There are none to decline your nectared wine,

But alone you must drink life’s gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded;

Fast, and the world goes by.

Succeed and give, and it helps you live,

But no man can help you die.

There is room in the halls of pleasure

For a large and lordly train,

But one by one we must all file on

Through the narrow aisles of pain. 

Out of frustration a phrase kept going on and on and on in my head! I tried to ignore it, but it got worse, made me even more frustrated. Finally I gave up, and linger on the thought, and this came out. 

mengapa kita bertermu, kemudian berpisah

menyebabkan aku resah

gelisah

tak tentu arah

pelbagai prosa ingin ku kota

dalam nova resolusi beresonasi

gendang telinga bingit!! tanpa bising

lidah kelu!! bila bicara seribu

kotak hati sepi tanpa menyendiri

rahsia akal tanpa destinasi

aku ingin kembali menemuimu!!

menemui diriku dalam dirimu...

Then I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and just thought of you for a few..