just came back from d airport after sending off a friend and I wondered to myself why does it feel so sad everytime I send someone off... I mean everyone feels sad but I'd go all hollow and start recalling times spent together.. It's not like they're gone for good.. I guess to me hello's and goodbye's meant just as much as the whole relationship... Then I turned on the music player on my phone and I got Yuna's tracks... one of which was very deep...



Yuna
Missing Star

I can never really tell you why
I've been missing you a lot
And I just have to take another look
at your photo in my wallet
And there's no reason why
I keep your T-shirt by my side (my version is I keep your picture by my side)
when I sleep
Pretending you were never really gone....

Its like a missing star
that's always been up in your sky
Its like the rainbow never comes
after the rain
Its like the sun never rises
in every of your morning
How am I supposed to live without these things
They are all you....


I just love the guitar accompaniment...

almost 2 months went by without me updating my blog.. huhu.. I was either too tired, too bored, did too much thinking of what to write in the posts - then though OMG thats too long and ended up didnt posting cuz too lazy... LOL...

Anyways, a summary of activities I've been tied with since 2 months ago ..

1. BOWLING...

This is loads of fun... at least for me... my current average is 120, but then at times my score can be as bad as 80... got my own bowling kit recently... Also joined the Digi 174 and below tournament with some of my office mates...



2. JUMPSTYLE

Also tons of fun... truthfully, unlike shuffle which I could listen and enjoy the hard bassed music, I still cant bring myself to like jumpstyle music. But once I start jumping, I kinda forgot I hated the 'bouncy' music... like I said, tons of fun...

3. LOADS of ReFLeCtINg

Yup.... have you ever had these moment when you're alone or with family/friends and suddenly it feels like you're looking at yourself as a second or third person? Like, instead of thinking "Why am I doing this?" you're thinking "Why is he doing that?" but referring to yourself? huhu... confusing, isn't it?

but then I learned a few things about myself... my actions and reactions, my speech and response, and a bunch of other stuffs..

I am now 23 (coming to, actually, but that doesnt change the fact that I am getting older *sigh*).. I guess I'm already in that stage of life thinking I need more consistency, more security and more ... erm.... money? hahaha... truth is that what I'm currently earning every month isnt enough... I find myself strictly controlling my budget on a weekly basis... and probably this month's the worst... hope my pay comes out soon... tons of bills to pay *sigh*...

talk about consistency, bowling steadily becomes one of the activities that I constantly go to... every Sunday afternoon, sometimes up to 6 games on the roll.. and now with the tournament for 19 weeks (now its at week-3) I'm bowling twice a week... another consistency is being late for work... dunno why I just cant get up easily in the morning anymore... last time I used to wake up on the first alarm... nowadays I keep snoozing the alarm and falling right back to sleep... hit me with a pan and probably that'll make me fine again..

I'm also constantly fighting with a certain friend.. I guess we're close enough to understand each other, but somehow something always manages to cause either one of us to get mad at each other... then tomoorow comes and we went like good buddies again, until another thing comes up and we'd get angry at each other again... most of the time, its cuz I was over reacting to the fact that he's not reacting at all... other times it was just stupid... but then I guess thats how the two of us are and probably thats how the two of us will be... hey, there you go.. a secret to having a good friend.. hahaha

and then there's the issue of security... not economically secure (I'm at a less than secure state, but just secure enough for me to get by).. I'm talking about emotionally secure.. I'm sure a lot of us are feeling that way - just the way we react to it is different.. some expresses it openly, others cover up by acting up... me? I'm just a plain old idealist... I know what I want, I know where to get it, I know how to get it, I probably have enough guts to go for it, I can plan for the perfect time to get it, but (being rational and partly realist) I can never quite get it... That is the main cause of my insecurity... *sigh* too bad there's not much I can do about it...

in any case, I've been here and there... seen lots, heard lots, felt lots... but I dont think I can ever get enough... conclusion? one day at a time... hahaha...

til next time.... too-tle-oooo...