Let's Drink to That

"...look, whether it's another guy, a nice title on a new and fancy business card, fat salary, a new city.." she paused and took another swig of her beer. "... fact of the matter is that you got dumped ..."

ouch..

"... sure it was delivered calmly. You discussed about it. But was it you who said it's not working out? " She paused and casually took a stick out of the Pall Mall and brought it to her mouth. "Were you the one who gave up and said you've had enough?" Finally bringing the stick to her lips and lit it.

I haven't said a word.

"Yeah. In fact, you said that you yourself is in a shithole, and that you were hoping for her to be there waiting for you when you pull yourself out." She took a puff. "... to which she said 'I'm glad you got my message..' was it? She never answered. She's made a decision then."

She looked at me. "Dude, she probably made a decision to leave you when she left here. Big fat salary, a nice title on her namecard, her own place. Let's not forget she's quite a looker too, fair skin, beautiful eyes."

"hey!" that was a double-hit.

"yeah no, I mean you're going through a tough time, and you do look good when you dress up. What I'm saying is at this very moment, she's climbing high and you're probably weighing her down so logically, she'd cut you off."

"Is that what you think?" what-if's hurts, that's why I let other people ask it.

"There could be another guy, I mean you dont have to tell me but just days - DAYS - after you broke up her social media lit up. I saw."

I honestly don't think thats true. She took another puff.

"I mean not a third person when you're together. Maybe she's decided to look for someone better than you." Half the cigarette was gone by now.

"Remember what I told you? Don't hate someone or something so much, you'll most likely turn into that person or thing. Shit I must be drunk now." she took a long gulp and emptied her glass. "She hated her uncle, yes? For leaving the dog behind? Well, look at what she left you?"

Even in her drunken stupor she deliver the most precise point. I flicked a tab to the bartender passing by to refill her glass. She puffed her ciggy and looked around.

"Look.. you know me, and you know I'm not gonna stop until I've had my say. So you listen here." The bartender came with her beer and cleared our table which started to look like there's 7 of us drinking. "They asked you to stay in touch because the family knows you, yes?" I nodded. "When was the last time she said hi?" I thought back. "What about her brother? Did he bother to say sorry?"

"Well he didn't do anything wrong," I quipped.

"You prick. Not sorry as in to apologize. Sorry as in sympathy. I know it don't spread around thick among guys but if he's a guy he should know what it feels like too, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Instead he mocked you.. not in a bro-dude kinda way." Another puff and she went on speaking with smokes going out of her nosedrills, a vision of a mother dragon. "What I'm saying is that she doesn't mean it. Even if she does, remember what you said about exes?"

"I don't keep them around."

"Burn the bridge. Burn it to hell. You were dumped. Be sad about it, or dont. Be mad about it, or dont. Grieve, don't grieve. Cry, yell, shout, be silent, speak up, open up, bottle it in - do whatever you need to." She palmed the table to emphasize her point. "..take as much time as you need, go wherever you feel like going. You booked a nice holiday with her right? Go alone, go with friends - hell, take me! I've never been to Genting! Or don't go!"

Pretty sure we're gaining some attention from other people in the pub by this time, but I got her point. Doesn't matter what I do, I just have to decide and stick to the decision.

"The point is ..." I'll let her say it anyways "... you decide, you do, then you move on."

I raised my glass and she met it with a loud clink. "Let's drink to that."