ReFLecTiOn part 3

Like I said in my previous post, I seriously need to take charge of my own life.. I was always so bent on ensuring the people around me get what they expect of me, and often at the cost of my own errrr... something... happiness, freedom, choice... just to name a few.. And recently, about a month ago to be exact, I let (again) my cousin's and brother's problem (and not to mension her boyfriend as well) interfere with my own life.. At the heavy cost of Kuching, I agreed to move to KL to sort things out...

Did things got sorted out? You can say that... The main reason I came to KL was to kick out a couple of freeloaders - non-family freeloaders - out of the house.. Well, that is if you can call them guys anymore.. the're on the fast lane to girly-girly land.. sissy ba**ards.. So far, I've managed to kick out 1... Watch out, this mouth of mine is pretty merciless, and the poor guy practically packed his bag the moment my cousin turned her back on us.. haha.. the other now is constantly hovering in my cousin's shadow..

Yeah I could take the easy way out n tell my cousin to throw them out (literally, I wish), but it was her decission to take them in when my brother screwed up with the responsibility of taking care of her and the house.. I'm always here to clean up his mess..

Well anyways, I cant seem to put sense into the other guy.. I've been blunt to him and told him that my cousin is now surrounded with family, and she's been with her boyfriend for almost 6 years now... You, my friend (NOT) are nobody, and I suggest you pack up your things and get the h*ll out.. There's only two rooms in this house, my cousin sure owns 1... and myself? I sure aint gonna let you go all queen in the other room.. No sirry, that room is mine, and I'mma share it with my bro.. No place for you here, so just get out..

That failed ROYALLY... seems he's thicker than my b*tchy mouth can pierce.. How could any1 be so dense? In any case, I give up... My cousin seems to like having her around anyways, in spite of her boyfriend (and my brother) who wouldnt stay in the same room as he's in...

But thats not the thing that bothers me.. see thi thing is, my brother and the boyfriend would eternally made fun of him.. He's a guy, with the body of a guy, the face of a guy, and the voice of a guy, and he acts as if he's a girl.. queeny.. I have nothing against them, really.. I've got so many kind of friends, and as long as they respect themselelves, and as long as they respect me (or stay away from me) thats fine... He, on the other hand, being dense as he is, is staying in the same house as I am.. In the same room as my cousin (he sleeps on the floor)..

But the problem is the boyfriend and my brother made fun of him.. (not that he's not a laughing stalk in a sidistic kind of way.. he is).. and the boyfriend constantly remarks that him and I will soon become couples (YUCK to the power of infinity).. I hate that kind of remark.. but I silenced myself and laughed like it was a joke.. a pitiful, corny one at that.. God, I tried.. I TRIED to kick him out, but like I said.. I failed.. and since my cousin is growing fonder of him every single minute she spends with him, there's nothing more that I can do.. So live with it... You only come by for a few hours a few days of the week, but me, I had to LIVE with him under the same roof.. Its harder for me, k? So just stop b*tching about it.. God!!

This afternoon was another session of guy talk and b*tch about the other guy (who at that time was playing badminton outside with my cousin) and it was then that I came up with the new year resolution.. I gotta say, dense as he is, he was the spark of that resolution.. and because of him, I'm gonna stick with it to prove to myself that I dont have to listen to what people say about other people... Who matters most to me is me, and I will now always come first... I'll still be nice, but now I'm gonna add a lot of firmness into that... To my brother and the boyfriend, get over it.. Sayonara old me...