Not to air my dirty linen in public, but me and my girlfriend had a row earlier today. She explicitly gave permission to "kidnap" her for the rest of the day.. this was at 9.30-ish, and by "kidnap", she meant it's ok for me to plan the rest of the day spending time with each other.
It was 11-ish when I managed to leave home to pick her up - when she said she had to go with this uncle of hers to do some errands. I was literally five minutes away from her house when she said she'd already left, and yeah, I was sort of annoyed. Since I can't do anything about it, I turned around and waited at one of the bus stops.
A few minutes later she said she was already home, and was again, going to go out to do some more errands with the same uncle. I got even more annoyed, and figured I best spend the time waiting for her at my office. This, because she told me I would have to wait awhile. I had only just booted up my laptop when she told me she was already home and ready. So I got even more annoyed, this time with myself for having driven so far only to have to drive back!
All in all, we spent some great quality time together. I had to adjust most of my plans - in fact did nothing on the list because I was no longer in the mood and did everything else instead. Telling myself,
..the problem is not the problem. the problem is your attitude towards the problem..
The main reason why that suddenly became my mantra for the day was, when I got to her house and we went our way, I was still annoyed. Pissed off, to be exact. Not just because I had lost about an hour of time to spend with her, but also because of her uncle. What pissed me off most was how she casually waltz in and began talking about how she hates having her time taken away by this uncle. She could've gotten some work done. She could've continued her to-do list. She could've this.. She could've that..
I could not find any me there..
Again, the problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude towards the problem. So I told myself, it's ok. She just needs to vent, so let her vent. She just needs to say what's on her mind, so lend an ear and listen. And she's there, isn't she? Why waste your time letting your annoyance get the best of you? So I made yet another excuse for her, and told myself that it's ok..
Now, as I sat typing this, had it been me at her position, I would handle it very differently. I would apologize for the slight delay in the plan - and apologize again when we finally met, to make sure that we're both ok. I would then put the attention back on us, just the two of us, because at that point of time, there is just us, spending time with each other. A little romance wont hurt anyone, right? And you don't need your throat to hold hands.
I suppose venting it out here makes no difference. She will definitely not be affected by it, strong, hard headed, single minded person that she is. And I admire her for that. I can't change her design, and not apologizing, even when it was clearly expected of her, is just not her design. Still, she is the one I have chosen to grow old with, even if there is a very high chance with her wanting to travel the world, we would grow old apart. In a way, I would still be growing old with her - just not beside each other.
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