"GOD determines who walks into your life... It is up to you entirely to choose whom you let stay, whom you let walk away and whom you refuse to let go"

This was my favorite quote, by whom I cant recall.. But then it gives a huge amount of feeling to those who truly understands it.. There is a thin line that divides each choice, and for each choice you make, there are consequences. The good, and the bad...

It is true that GOD determines who walks into your life. An acquaintance, a friend, a lover, a foe, a rival... The list could be longer... But then it all comes down to your choice... To let them stay, to let them walk away or to never let them go...

The thin line... When you choose to let them stay, they may not want to stay for too long... and as such, you're forced to let them walk away... but then that may not mean that you'd be willing to let them go, and by choosing that, with a little effort, some luck and a pinch of prayer, they may just come back.. As such, I can safely say that you cant choose and stick with your choice... The choice should change accordingly, and so will the consequence.. People commonly stop at the second..to let those that touched their lives walk away without letting them know that there will always be a room for them in their lives... Life is, in fact, too short... Let them know how you feel exactly, and you'll be able to say that you've lived a fulfilling life...

Here's another thought i stumbled across the net..I think its worth sharing...

People come into you life for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME... When you know which one it is, you will know what to do with that person...

When someone comes into your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need that you have expressed.. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.!

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant .

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME....

My recent visit to Medan Pelita was very satisfying - watching FURY. With two of my friends, even though our eyes were a little tired cuz it was a 12.50am show, it was totally worth it... I cant really elaborate much cuz then I'd be giving out the ending n spoiling the whole movie... All I can say is that it was satisfying...Although I know some of my other friends might say that it has no morale value - or too little and underemphasized... I guess I can at least say that the girl was autistic, and that in the beginning the movies shows that being who she is, she needs extra / special care and attention from her mother... well... erm... no more... cant say anymore about the plot of the muvee... I've seen the making somewhere though... All the stunts were done by herself -i need to find out her name 1st though. I've got no idea...

Another movie that I managed to catch was "The Ghost House". I have to say it was kinda pathetic. The beginning was very scary. But towards the end, it was just a fragment of an imagination. However, contrary to Fury, this one truly emphasize on the family. No more elaboration from me. Catch it or self if u feel like it. adios -

ok...this is probably still a taboo in our culture, but it kinda cross my path one time too many... Why do people label others (or themselves for that matter) as straight (as an arrow, if I might add), or gay, or lesbians, or homosexual, or metrosexual (they say it's the mask for bisexsuality)... One of a friend of a friend of mine so happens to be rejected by a group of his friends soon after he came out of the closet... At first it was peachy dandy and all that (according to him) but recently he discovered the truth about stuffs that happened throughout the course of the friendship and was devastated by how his friends treated him... like - OMG!!! that is so unfair... all this because he said that he preferred guys over girls... huhuhuhu..

I'm still shocked when he told me, i never actually thought of him that way - but then I said to myself, que sera sera, whatever will be, will be... So what if he sez he's gay... I cant be the judge of him, can I? and just because he is what he is, doesnt mean that the friendship must sink. It can still be the same as it was before - even better in fact (huhuhu - now I know how classy he can be and probably get some advice on skincare and stuffs like that. Can't really ask a girl now, can I? XD)

What really bothers me was the way his friends acted... two words will be sufficient to describe how they treated this poor guy - backstabbing hypocrites. I was a mere bystander for this group of friends, and until recently I didnt think there were any issues of problems amongst them.. apparently I was gravely wrong. Since many months ago the friends was simply acting nice in front of him. Behind his back, they were plotting to ignore him... Hahaha, I feel like cursing them all the way to h*ll, but they probably deserve something worse...

Well... I cant really do anything but nurse his broken heart and wounded pride.. It was the least I can do... But then I wonder if I should advice him to return to the closet or stay out in the open...cuz either way, I suppose it hurts... huhuhu - why do people put label on others - and themselves... If you love someone, then just love him/her.. if he/she loves you back, then it's heaven sent, and if its the other way around, well... there's no helping it... You can try, but you cant force love... In any case, friends are friends... Being straight as an arrow or bent 360 degrees into a circle should not change any of that... right?

huhuhu... Love is a funny thing... It is the joy of one, and the suffering of another... Its all about giving and taking, and when more than two people is involved (it rarely stays between two people..there's always that another that tips the balance) it gets even more complicated...

Sometimes, from what I've experienced myself and what people shared with me, I wonder.. Who do lovers hurt each other? Is it to test the love between them, or did the love itself became stale and lifeless? If so, then why do our parents stayed together for so long and still stayed strong?

and what happens if lovers suddenly had to choose between each other, family or friends, or careers etc? Which should come first? Should any be more important than the others? Is there a right for one to ask the other of the ranking of importance between love, family, friendship and career?

Sometimes love struck at awkward time, or awkward place, or between impossible people... What do we do when the love of our life can only give as much as friendship back? Do we accept, or do we force? Or do we back off form their lives and nurse our heart?

And then there's also the so called "blind love"... One side is not just prepared, but has been sacrificing time, effort and money to support the other and yet, all of that goes unappreriated. . us as bystanders are caught in between, always hoping to be there when the tears fall or anger broke...

It all goes back to friendship - and I wonder are we prepared if such trials and tribulations of love crosses our paths? Would our friends be there to support us, or would they betray us and leave? and if this ever happens to our friends, would we be able to support them?

Ah well...can't really wonder too much about love and all that... Its too abstract... but we still need it, since we're humans... a penny for your thought?

Huhuhu... It is hard to be me... I was fine with my own dilemma until a few weeks ago. Now, I look at myself and c a hypocritical person... Its not a bad thing when I start to consider the reason behind it - I was trying not to hurt anyone...

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
From pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
to be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
Cuz its not my fault
I know I've been told
To take the blame

Rest assure my angels
Will guide me through
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you found that lover you're homeward bound
Love is all around, Love is all around
I know some have fallen on stony ground
But love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
From pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Greetings to all readers...

Since I've just finished my final semester at a local college, I guess its the perfect time for me to start blogging - and reflecting on my life... Its also the perfect excuse for me to pass the time rather than sitting ducks at home....

See the main reason I'm writing is to let out the bottled up feelings that I've kept for quite some time now... It really wasn't that long since my last exam - the finals - that I discovered the truths behind what is meant by friendship...

I dont make friends easily, but once I do there's a tendency that I'd stick with them all the way... At least, this was how I used to think. I'm not sure anymore...

In particular, there were a few guys that I grew fond of, and we shared laughs and tears together... and then there was news.... I'm not sure if the reality of it has settled in or I'm still in shock of recieving the new... What was the news? well - it was about the friendship that we fostered - the same friendship that I sailed with sincerity, patience and perseverence... It was not just a friendship - but a brotherhood. It was about supporting each other in needy times, and sharing happiness together amongst us. It was about being truthful and honest, without holding back and holding grudges. It was about looking together at one direction and moving forward and successing. It was about accepting each other - both strengths and flaws - and backing up each other when the time calls for it... It was about a promise of faith... It was about building integrity and personality... It was ..... now all that seems like they're nothing but a lie... hypocrit... After the news, everything was clear - questions that were asked were answered, and those that was never asked were also explained.... There was nothing else left... And all the years spent - God the memory was bitter sweet - but it was all a lie... I'm blank. I cant think of anything...just plain, stone, blank....

any suggestion on moving on?